One week ago today (Sept.28 th) Per and I were ready to get the DB ferry bound to Central as we had the two Hospital appointments at Queen Mary at 2pm that same afternoon…Little we knew it was going to be one of the longest and most emotionally draining afternoons of our lives.
These appointments were made back in the beginning of September (6th or 8th) when we visited the Dr. at the hospital and we decided to book for the C-section date (i had 2 previous c-sections so this birth had to be through another c-section). On that day (beginning of September), we agreed in booking the c-section for September 29th – 2 days before the Official Due Date – October 1st.
As we were approaching the Hong Kong Island, I knew more then ever that I was not ready to meet the Baby the next day. I was very committed to change the Birth Day to the 4th of October – considering the Hospital just perform elective c-sections on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. 1st and 2nd were PH, 3rd was a Tuesday so the only possible date would be the 4th of October – a Wednesday.
Well, we saw the Anesthetist 1st followed by a Dr. consultation. Loads of explanation and papers to read and to sign were given to us exactly because it was the eve of the operation. The more they explained to me, the more I knew I wanted to hold this Baby in as much longer as possible because i knew i did not want to go through everything i been through when Maya was born.
As I spoke to the 2nd Dr. and explained my concerns for the billionth time, I actually got happy with the suggestion she gave us. Talking to the Surgeon – She told us we had to go to K9 and wait a bit for the him/her…
There we went, Me my Bump, my Husband and my hopes.
We made ourselves to K9 which is actually the Department of Gynecologist and Obstetrics of Queen Mary’s Hospital, the place where me, you and other hundreds and thousands of women gave birth and hundreds and thousands of husbands/partners/parents/ family members waited impatiently for news and the exit of the beloved wife/gf/partner with the newborn Baby. On that floor, you have the labour rooms, the operation theatre, the triage rooms and beds were women in labour have to wait until they are ready to give birth. It was surprisingly calm!!
It was the 1st live experience we had with the real scenario…I got happy to see and experience it. We saw women arriving in labor with their anxious partners, we saw women in labour, we saw women in pain, we saw women that thought they were in labour, we saw women that were prepped for giving birth – either vaginally or by csection. It was a very real moment for all of us…but again, everybody was so calm and silent.
Minutes turned into long minutes and long minutes turned into hours…hours turned into 4 to 5 hours all together…until finally a Dr…Dr.Jon came to us (she just finished performing an emergency c-section hence the delay).
During the wait, i had endless talks with my Husband, we had to make final decisions We were exhausted, i had a massive headache, i just could not think anymore. At that moment i already have spoken to my midwife to hear her opinion. I was soo sure i wanted the baby out on Wednesday, and i knew i could do it too. Hubby was totally on the Doctors side…Have the Baby tomorrow.
As we spoke with the Dr. and after she express her concerns – me going into labour and the risk of an emergency c-section instead of a planned one, we finally agreed on pushing it to Wednesday. I got happy. At that point, another Doctor have joined the conversation and also heard me carefully and got my point. I was extremely impressed and surprised with the Doctors patience, calmness and support. No matter what, it made me very relaxed and confident that no matter the Day the Baby was going to be born, i was in good hands.
Dr. Jon was booking my c-section on the computer, for Wednesday the 4th when suddenly all hopes and efforts had gone through the window. The was no spot for me on Wednesday, I got so anxious that i could not fight anymore, i got emotional but managed to hold the tears…No matter what, i knew that i was going to meet my Baby the next day, and that gave me comfort and an unexpected peace. I know that i have tried till the end and knew i was in good hands too….The only date available for my operation was Friday, and that was definitely pushing it to the limit. I couldn’t do that.
“Let’s do it like this” – said the Dr. that came earlier to support Dr. Jon’s opinion – “it have been an intense day, go home, don’t think about it anymore and just do it as if you were coming to the operation tomorrow. Fast from 00, take you first pill at 23 and the other at 7am. Have your bag and documents ready and be here at 7 am as per the schedule. Either call us before 7 or just be here at 7 and let us know what you decided. If you want to postpone the surgery or if you are going through with the schedule. Is up to you to decide, just let us know”. I was impressed with the attitude once again. I was not expecting such caring and compassion from their side. They were great…Like he said, either way, no matter what I choose, they will be there to help me to deliver the Baby safely.
Both Per and I dragged ourselves to DB. Guess we were not home before 20pm…Girls were sleeping already and all I could do was stare at the walls and rub the tummy for the very last moments before going to sleep. I think I had a croissant and plenty of water. Our alarm clocks had to ring at 4.30am in order to get ready and leave the house at 5.45 so we wouldn’t be late for the 6 o’clock ferry. The helper was home just before 5.30.
Forget the sleep that night…I was up at 3.30am, still with a few doubts in my mind…Per was yet to hear the “let’s do it”…This was a very personal choice that nobody could interfere actually…just Per and I…I was still talking to Alba and Duarte (my sister in law and my brother) that because of the time difference were still awake. I was still so confused and tired of thinking, debating and arguing with myself and Per, that at 4.50 (less then an hour before we had to leave home and right at the time I needed to start getting ready I said: “ok, let’s do it, let’s have the Baby today”.
(this post was written 1 week after Baby Silke was born).