My 1st and 2nd Pregnancy
I never thought that about writing about Pregnancy until i was pregnant for the 1st time.
I always thought that Pregnancy was a subject that you just read, discuss, search, research, debate, discover, explore and figure it out once you get pregnant and put it aside once you are done with it, because you think you just need to refresh your mind once you learn you are pregnant again. I was wrong.
It’s my 2nd pregnancy and non of these pregnancies resembles to each other, from the conception until the end. I had to read, discuss, search, research, debate, discover, explore and figure it out each one.
I’m now 38weeks and 3 days pregnant, in the eve of my 1st scheduled c-section date (November 5th and another for November 12th). My original due date is the 17th, with another date pointed towards the 14th.
I always knew that collecting thoughts and putting it down on paper was especially rewarding during pregnancy. Not only i would have a personal record of my life during this amazing time but i would also create a special gift for my children years later. And organized as i am, with the tendency of writing down pretty much EVERYTHING, I started journaling after the first time my husband and start trying to conceive. We were strategic. We had sex during my prime time of the month (thank you, ovulation), and we even succumbed to that myth-or-method (depending who you ask) of putting my legs in the air post doing the deed. We were obsessed with dates, when was my ovulation happening? when should we BBD? Are you flying during my O. time? We learned so many funny terms and expressions…what an exciting time!!!
The whole experience was a scary adventure. What if our attempts were unsuccessful? I didn’t want to fail. And so, due to the whirlwind of emotions, I started to write, as journaling became my free form of dealing with the emotions.
Well, apparently the legs-in-the-air thing worked for us and we got pregnant pretty quick. Within seconds of finding out I was pregnant, I went from feeling anxious trying to get pregnant to becoming a totally neurotic mother-to-be. All I wanted was a baby, and now that it was happening, I craved perfection. Someone really should have told me pregnancy could be far from.
For the girls, they both have a “record/memories” book where every 2 weeks i fill it for them…You know, those super organised books where you write down facts about the birth, details of birth, Baby’s 1st etc…I would hate myself if one they one of my kids would ask “Mom, when did i start walking” and i had no clue what to say…
I OBSESSED over my every move. I didn’t want to screw anything up. I was determined to follow every single solitary pregnancy rule. I wouldn’t eat certain foods; I’d drink tons of water; and I’d ONLY sleep on my left side. (When you’re pregnant this is the safest sleeping position for your precious embryo.) And because I became a psycho crazy pregnant lady, I continued writing, documenting my thoughts and feelings.
Writing became my vice. I wrote about everything. I wrote about the food i ate, the first time I heard my baby’s fetal heartbeat during our initial doctor appointment—music to my ears. I wrote about my pregnancy symptoms; I wrote about the conversations I’d have with my belly and yes, I sang to the baby every day.
I got Pregnant with Sienna from Match 8th 2012 to December 16th 2012 – Due Date was December 13th
2nd Pregnancy – July 19th to October 14th 2013 – i miscarried
3rd Pregnancy – February 10th to Nov. 5ht- Due Date November 14th or 17th
A few weeks ago, i met a friend for coffee and on the way back, we met another friend that asked us (we are both pregnant with 5 weeks a part…i’m due first): “Is this pregnancy the same as your first?” we both replied with no hesitation: “No”. We both said our whys…
With Sienna, my pregnancy was a walk in the Park. Everything was new, every experience was a new experience. I had no sickness – only threw up once, had headache a few times i recall. I was working, walking and teaching yoga well into my 38th week.
We prepared Sienna’s arrival the best way we could. Hubby and I went to Hong Kong for ante natal classes, i had my breathing techniques ready, joined and practiced a few pre-natal yoga classes, had pre-natal massages all the way till my 38th week. I was in pure Zen mode waiting patiently for Baby Sienna’s debut, naturally….For 9 months i was convinced and so sure i was having a natural delivery, that i pretty much skipped ALL C-sections’ chapters in books, googles, talks, discussion etc…to my disappointment, Sienna’s arrival was through an emergency – C-section due to fetal distress 3 days after Due Date.
After giving Birth to Sienna, i was very sure that i wanted more babies. I had a great experience at the hospital – well, can’t complain at least. And C-section was actually bearable…i was so happy that both Baby and I were healthy and happy…i knew that i needed to give a sister/brother to Sienna…(I always wanted 3 kids).
Sienna was 8 months when i found out i was pregnant…We discovered in August 17th, the day Hubby and I celebrated my 29th Birthday…Unfortunately this pregnancy didn’t developed they way it should, and a few months after i lost the baby that was nearly 12 weeks. After 1 year (now) i can talk openly about what happened, what i’ve learned, the experience, my regrets, my hopes etc…of course is a subject that still crosses my mind every now and then and it will always do. I am very well aware of…time heals…
After this chapter, both hubby and I agreed a few things if we wanted to try again after a few months. Said and done. February i got pregnant again, with tears of joy and anxiety, fear and happiness, with more awareness and caution ruling from day 1. We didn’t had to agree that the 1st 12 weeks had to be spent in pure secrecy. I hide the bump as long as i could and i was extremely sick!Sick like i have never been, plus been craving for the most sour candies and things!!!Go figure!!!
I got a few scares in the firsts weeks that made me go into tears to my GYN OBY practice at least 2 times. A few blood tests were made to check for the quality of the egg, considering what happened to me in October. Doctor put me in bed rest for 12 weeks. And bed rested i stayed. I was falling asleep at 6pm sharp with Sienna, if not earlier,no more teaching, no more lifting Sienna, no more walks, exercise…so there i was figuring out, exploring, discovering the marvels of bed rest and reading about miscarriages over and over again. It didn’t became a obsession or i was not psycho about it…i just needed to make sure both baby and i were healthy and prepared for everything that could happen. It was a very stressful and emotional 12 weeks, for me and my family. The fact i couldn’t do much made me feel absolutely useless, the fact i couldn’t lift or have the energy to play with Sienna was heartbroken..but it was for the best…
With this 3rd pregnancy, we were more cautious, more aware, less relaxed and bump start showing much faster…After the 12th week we were soo relieved and confident that everything would go well and smooth…and it did. I regain my energies, i was optimist and confident, motivated, inspired and extremely happy…Soon we could share that we were pregnant again and was not before the 18th week that we found out that another Princess was being formed inside me. We were and are thrilled with the idea of giving a Sister to Sienna that points at the bump every time we ask for her Sister and Baby
Time went by really slowly in the beginning, until he 20th week…week after week i was growing bigger, baby moving more, i was extremely busy with the launch of my business and with Sienna that i hardly had time to stop and realize – i am pregnant!It happened a few times, i had to take a deep breath and tell to myself “Mariana, slow down, you are pregnant”. But there i was, a pregnant, mom of a toddler, launching my own business…I had to wonder where i was getting all theses energy from..From business meetings to business trips, establish contacts, decide this, decide that!!!Not easy but always easier when you know what you want, when you are passionated about what you do and when you have a great support network around.
As soon as i hit 28 weeks, braxton hicks start coming ever now and then…today, more and more often. As soon as i hit 28 weeks, my energy levels drop again…felt more tired, sleepy, less energy…and now, 10 weeks after is just physical tension…lower back, pelvic pressure and upper thighs pressure as well. I can see myself napping in the afternoon with Sienna…which is fine…need to rest like this if i want my little Princess to arrive on the 12th, without going into labour. We were told that as the baby is growing, the scar from my previous c-section is becoming thinner…so i need to watch out, defiantly no lifting heavy things, and let myself rest all the way till the end.
High risks of going into labour: bleeding. uterus rupture, emergency c-section – we don’t want that!
So no, these pregnancy was definitely different from all the other 2. I got sick – also with the 2nd – , i was in bed rest, i was scared and anxious, i had to stop lifting Sienna, i had low laying placenta since the beginning of the pregnancy, i spotted a few times during the 1st 12 weeks. With this pregnancy, i definitely got tired more easily – no wonder, with an almost 2 year old toddler running around, wanting your attention, being a perfectly healthy toddler, cooking meals, being a mum and a wife – you can only have no energy and get tired more easily ahahaha. With this pregnancy i was much more aware of all the moves, pains, feelings, stretches, muscle stretches, i was more careful with certain things i did…but, extremely extremely Happy, Excited and Overwhelmed with this gift, of being able to see my perfectly perfect Daughter in a few days from now.
I didn’t mind and will never mind what i have been through. She is a perfectly perfect beautiful girl. Tall like Daddy, kicking mommy a lot during the night, pressing mommy’s bladder a lot during the night, but is all so worth it.
Many women are under the impression that pregnancy is perfect. We see perfect pregnancies in the movies, beautiful bellies on Social Media, and picturesque baby showers. Mine were beautiful btw.Anyway, the reality is that pregnancy is unpredictable and full of unknowns. (That, in itself, it can be challenging for a Type A Personality like myself to grasp.) However, I published these post because I want women to know they are not alone. I want women to know that imperfection is OK. And I want women to know the roller-coaster ride of pregnancy is totally worth it. Once you become a mom, everything else in your life all of a sudden becomes secondary.
I had a pampering Day on Saturday that finished with a romantic Date night with hubby – probably the last time i wore 10′ high heels before the birth, manage to still wear S size in my new knitted dress. Bags are packed, Nursery is ready, Clothes are washed, House is ready, Sienna is sorted, Hubby is starting his time off soon…we are ready for you my Love.