EDD: October 1st 2017

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It’s amazing how early on your body gives you the signs that you might be pregnant. Some even know before they took the pregnancy test.

Some feel nothing and just realize they are pregnant after the missed period. Funny enough, one of the most common early pregnancy signs is the changes in your body, mainly the boobies…

January 2017 came and so did a few symptoms that made me think that something was going on – but never thought about the idea of being 4 weeks pregnant already.

Drinks, laughs, yummy food, good mood and good company set the mood for that Saturday night. It was the first time we were inviting our neighbors to our house. The party did not finished too late and i knew we did not have drunk that much to be feel absolutely miserable the next day. I have counted endless times the amount of wine bottles we have opened and I could swear I have indulged way more in previous parties/dinners and never felt as close to what I was feeling that Sunday – extremely bizarre I thought. I have spent that day hydrating myself with Ginger Ale and Orange Juice and it seemed like I could not keep it for to long… – endless trips to the washroom – if you know what I mean.

Not to mention the headache OMG!!That headache that you think your eyeballs are about to jump out at any minute…I did not want to admit that this was a combination of hangover symptoms…so for me, the headache was associated with the water Lily’s fragrance…but I never had a strong reaction to these flowers either.

At the end of the day as I was ironing Per’s shirt, I felt weak…not dizzy (as I felt before I knew I was pregnant with Sienna) but It felt like I was walking on clouds…and I had to stop and call it a day – I went to bed just after another trip to the toilet…

On Monday I realized my period was supposed to come that Saturday, and yes, I have been experiencing PMS symptoms as per normal including a lot of cramping but decided to purchase an OTC pregnancy test any way to rule out the possibility of being pregnant and just assume I was late because of stress, hormonal change due to a change of lifestyle.

Not giving too much importance, I did the test and came out Negative…weird I thought but accepted well, discarded the test in the bin and went for a run.

The cramps continued and so did my PMS – including sore breasts for a few days…Sore breasts came and went…but kept bothering me a bit specially on the right side…When I finally reached the 5th day of no menstruation I did another test – this time conscious that I had to call a Dr. in case the tests kept coming negative – it meant that something was going on with my body.

As I was about to place the stick on the counter a 2nd line was showing up – in a matter of seconds – and quite dark already…the pregnancy line was so dark that it did not let any doubts that a 3rd baby was on it’s way. There I was, in the bathroom hearing the girls knocking and calling for me over and over “Mommy where are you”. I was staring at the test and I smiled . Nothing crossed my mind in that very second. My mind took me to a place far away and I just “landed” when I heard the girls banging louder on the door and screaming “Mommy open the door, what you doing”. I shook my head and hide the test…washed my hands and opened the door.

Still dreaming I went to the living room with the girls following me. I sat down in front of Sienna and asked her to hug me very tight…also asked her to tell me that everything was going to be alright…As I hugged her, Sienna asked me “why are you talking to me like this Mommy” “why are you hugging me so tight Mommy”…I had no answers for her in that very moment…

As I released her from my arms. She rubbed my tummy and gave me a kiss.

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Raw Blueberry Cheesecake

This is probably the cutest dessert i have ever done and this is what i love about preparing/making raw desserts…I can’t imagine anything easier than preparing a raw dessert – as always, the simplest things are the most spectacular. You’ll only need good-quality, organic, raw ingredients, and a powerful food processor, and the rest is just about playing with shapes, tastes, and textures. Not only do raw desserts keep you away from refined sugar, but they enrich your diet with healthy oils, minerals, and vitamins.

Vegan Blueberry Cheesecake
Serves 12
7 ingredient vegan, gluten free cheesecakes that are creamy, slightly tart, perfectly sweet and 100% irresistible. Better than real cheesecake and the perfect healthy, simple dessert to feed a crowd.
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Ingredients
  1. CRUST
  2. 1 cup pitted dates
  3. 1 cup raw walnuts
  4. FILLING
  5. 1 1/2 cups raw cashews, quick soaked
  6. 1 large lemon, juiced (+-1/4 cup)
  7. 1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
  8. 1/2 cup + 2 Tbsp organic full fat coconut milk
  9. 1/2 cup agave nectar or maple syrup
  10. FLAVOR ADD-INS - optional
  11. 1/4 cup wild blueberries (fresh or frozen)
Instructions
  1. Add dates to a food processor and blend until small bits remain and it forms into a ball. Remove and set aside.
  2. Next add nuts and process into a meal. Then add dates back in and blend until a loose dough forms - it should stick together when you squeeze a bit between your fingers. If it's too dry, add a few more dates through the spout while processing. If too wet, add more almond or walnut meal. Optional: add a pinch of salt to taste.
  3. Lightly grease a standard, 12 slot muffin tin. To make removing the cheesecakes easier, cut strips of parchment paper and lay them in the slots. This creates little tabs that makes removing them easier to pop out once frozen.
  4. Next scoop in heaping 1 Tbsp amounts of crust and press with fingers. To pack it down, use a small glass or the back of a spoon to compact it and really press it down. I found the bottom of a glass works well. If it sticks, separate the crust and the glass with a small piece of parchment. Set in freezer to firm up.
  5. Add all filling ingredients to a blender and mix until very smooth. For the coconut milk, I like to scoop the "cream" off the top because it provides a richer texture. But if yours is already all mixed together, just add it in as is.
  6. You don't need a Vitamix for this recipe, just a quality blender. I mixed mine for 1 minute, then "liquified" or "pureed" it until silky smooth. If it won't come together, add a touch more lemon juice or agave or a splash more coconut milk liquid as the liquid should help it blend better.
  7. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed. If adding peanut butter, add to the blender and mix until thoroughly combined. If flavoring with blueberry or caramel, wait and swirl on top of plain cheesecakes (optional).
  8. Divide filling evenly among the muffin tins. Tap a few times to release any air bubbles, then cover with plastic wrap and freeze until hard - about 4-6 hours.
  9. Once set, remove by tugging on the tabs or loosening them with a butter knife. They should pop right out. Our favorite way to devour these was with a little more caramel and a touch of coconut whipped cream. But they're perfect as is! Keep in the freezer for up to 1-2 weeks.
  10. Optional: you can set them out for 10 minutes before serving to soften, but I liked them frozen as well.
Notes
  1. *If your dates are not sticky and moist, you can soak them in warm water for 10 minutes, then drain. But be sure to drain thoroughly and pat dry to prevent the crust from getting soggy.
  2. *To quick soak cashews, pour boiling hot water over the cashews, soak for 1 hour uncovered, then drain and use as instructed.
Adapted from Minimalist Baker
Adapted from Minimalist Baker
Lifestyle in Shavasana http://lifestyleinshavasana.com/

Glowing in November

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November marks the beginning of the festivities at home and within my Family. There are Birthdays, Family gatherings, Family dinners, lunches, Baby Showers, Births, X’mas tree arrival, family getaways, school breaks, X’mas, New year..uh la la….all the way till January…It is definitely one of the most antecipated time of the year.  

A little bit late – but always on time  – It’s Nov. 9th in my Calendar – i will post about having a Healthy Holistic Month and help you get prepared to the festivities ahead in case you have a busy agenda like myself.

We want POSITIVE VIBES ONLY!

Instead of ruminating about negative things, try to savour, relive, enjoy and share the positive events of your day!

FIND PEACE

It is very important to observe our emotions. One common negative emotion is anger. Anger comes in all shapes, sizes and features. When we observe that anger is present and mindfully identify it, it will loose it’s destructive nature.

Only when we are angry and not observing our anger does it become destructive.

Try concentrating on your breathing and follow this:

Breathing in, I know that i am angry. Breathing out, I know i must take care of my anger.

Breathing in, i know that anger is still here. Breathing out, I know that anger is in me and i know that mindfulness is in me also.

Breathing in, I know that i can take care of my anger. Breathing out, i calm my anger.

TRIM YOUR WAIST BABY

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We all know that carrying excess weight around the middle is very ageing.

Fat stored deep in the stomach – visceral fat – causes chronic inflammation in the body = contributes to age-related disease, including type 2 diabetes and heart disease.

  • Beat belly fat with plenty of cardio exercise
  • Get enough restful sleep
  • During green tea
  • Lower your stress levels
  • Cut down on carbs and increase protein

COMBAT WINTER FATIGUE

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With this great Austrian natural remedy. Is nothing but a tea with soup ingredients.

The antibacterial and disinfectant properties of garlic combined with the stimulating and antispasmodic properties of parsley work amazingly. 

  • Chives – high in Vitamin C, blood cleansing and loosen phlegm;
  • Cayenne pepper – stimulates circulation and is detoxifying. It also helps fight off infection and inflammation

Ingredients:

240ml water, 2 peeled garlic cloves, 3 springs of fresh parsley, 3 fresh chives, 1 pinch of cayenne pepper

Directions:

Boil the water, remove from heat and add the garlic – allow to infuse for 10 minutes.

Chop the parsley and chives and add to the infusion then add the pepper.

Strain into a cup and drink.

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5 Steps to a Better Life

Change your won mind for the better this year to achieve your potential…It’s the End of March, but you are still on time!! (Time, can you please slow down?)!

1. Watch your words Missy

The way that we speak to ourselves has a huge impact on our lives and wellbeing. If you are capable of showing affection and giving praise to others, then you’re able to do it for yourself too. Mind your inner language and you’ll reap the rewards.

You can create affirmations for the state you want to be in. Really get excited about this brand new you and bring it in to the present. Say it and say it with feeling as if what you want, you have right now.

2. Change the link

We can adopt unhealthy habits because we associate them with a loved one or a personal hero. Perhaps we link “party food” with happy moments. We may not even realise that the unhealthy habit is our way of being closer to a person or an event that we have loved and lost. You may be holding on to the sleep patterns and alcohol consumption of your student days because life was more fun back then. You can move to a better you. Is it the freedom and the carefree attitude that you’re missing? Look at ways in which you can bring these aspects in to your present day life.

3. Victim to leader

If we feel intimidated by our boss or groups of people, or we somehow feel the victim in certain situations, we can go back in time to when we felt like that. We have the power to change it now.

Go back to the time in your mind when you felt very intimidated and bring in a protector (who or what this is, is up to you). You can rewrite the situation in your mind, psychodynamically. This process will impact on everything in your life, altering the way your mind responds to events as you move from victim to leader.

4. Explore your emotions

Get a journal, and mark down ages in your life when key events took place – both the traumatic and positive.

Look to see when problems started and especially track back and notice if there are any common themes. You may want to look back and see what was going on in your life up to six months before each key event. This will illuminate reasons behind your behaviour.

5. Take self care seriously

Decide that you’re going to look after yourself IMMEDIATELY. This will send a powerful message to your mind that whatever had happened before now, you’re taking a stand as an adult that you’re absolutely worth looking after, right now. This means upgrading your nutrition and the way you nourish your soul.

Do exercise that actually makes you smile but do move more please. Get excited about life and treat yourself more.

Make some time to yourself and acknowledge how incredible you are and that you deserve better, in the very moment.

Xx

Natural Ways to Stay Younger

Uncategorized | November 24, 2014 | By

Hello, fountain of youth! Stay young with these amazing, completely natural age erasers that boost brain power, stop stress, and smooth skin!!

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Stress Less

Getting older — without being doomed to wrinkle-dom and jiggly thighs — does not require a high-priced trainer and a bucket o’ Botox. We swear it. We know it. Stay young, look and feel everyday fabulous, by doing everyday smart things:

  • exercise,
  • eat healthy,
  • de-stress

Give yourself a break

Recent studies show that stress causes physical changes in the body that can accelerate aging. Surges of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol cause blood pressure to rise and the heart to beat faster. These days, when our stressors seem unrelenting (a steady stream of job pressures, traffic jams, money problems), chronic doses of adrenaline and cortisol take a heavy toll on our physical and emotional health. “Sixty to 90 percent of all doctors’ visits each year are related to anxiety, depression, obsessive anger and hostility, insomnia, high blood pressure, heart attacks — all problems caused by stress.

The most effective way to halt this destructive chain of events is to meditate. The technique involves repeating a mantra — a word, sound, phrase, or prayer — for as little as 10 minutes a day. A 2005 study conducted at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston showed that meditation helped prevent age-related changes in the brain.

Try it! How? Once or twice daily, for 10 to 20 minutes (yes, you do have the time — you just have to make it), sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, relax your muscles, roll your head, neck, and shoulders, and breathe deeply. On each exhale, repeat your mantra. If other thoughts try to invade, tell yourself, “Oh, well,” and return to your word or phrase. When you’re done, keep your eyes closed for an extra minute; slowly allow everyday thoughts to flow back into your mind. Still not into the idea of meditation? Do yoga, or something active and repetitive, like running, instead. Focus on your breathing and how your feet land with each stride. Get your to-do list out of your head.

Consume more fat

The healthy kind, that is. Omega-3 fatty acids (found in salmon, walnuts, and seeds) help stabilize your mood, maintain bone strength, and help prevent visible signs of aging by reducing inflammation in the body. Omega-3s also boost the ability of the body’s enzymes to pull fat out of storage — from your hips, say — and use it as energy. Omega-3s keep you healthy and your skin radiant.

Try it! You need two grams of omega-3 fatty acids a day. Eat plenty of fatty fish such as wild salmon (a 3-ounce serving has 6.9 grams), as well as walnuts (one-half ounce has 9.2 grams). If you aren’t getting enough omega-3s from your diet, consider taking fish-oil supplements.

Get off the couch

Not only does regular exercise help you lose weight, tone muscles, build healthier bones, and boost mood, it can also help you think clearly. Studies cited by the National Institute on Aging demonstrate a connection between physical exercise and better brain power. “Walking for just 10 minutes a day lowers your risk of Alzheimer’s by 40 percent,” says Gary Small, MD, director of the UCLA Center on Aging and coauthor of The Healthy Brain Kit. “Physical conditioning reduces stress and anxiety, which wipe out your memory bank.”

Try it! Make time for three 20-minute workouts a week. Run, bike, swim, dance — do whatever you enjoy most.

Feel the love

Anyone who’s ever fallen head over heels or discovered an activity that makes them eager to jump out of bed in the morning knows that passion is a powerful drug. It’s the central motivation of all human activity. The ability to embrace life boosts self-esteem, fuels the immune system, and improves cardiovascular health. Passion in bed can be particularly beneficial: “Loving touches release hormones, including oxytocin, that reduce stress and anxiety,” says Mehmet Oz, MD, professor of surgery and vice chairman of cardiovascular services at New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University, as well as the coauthor of You on a Diet. “If sex is a purely hedonistic process, it won’t have the same results.”

Try it! Banish boredom and isolation at all costs. Rekindle the flames with your partner. Or discover a new love in the form of a mental or physical pursuit: Take up painting, join a book club, start a running program. Do whatever it is that makes you feel energized and alive.

Drink red wine

Last fall, a groundbreaking study showed that mice on a high-fat diet supplemented with resveratrol, a substance found in the skin of grapes, had longer average lifespans than those not given the resveratrol. According to the study’s co-lead researcher Rafael de Cabo, PhD, of the National Institute on Aging, resveratrol clearly reduced the risk of diabetes and liver problems in mice, leading to a significant decline in obesity-related deaths. But here’s the catch: “You’d have to drink 180 bottles of red wine a day to get the same benefits,” says Dr. Roizen.

Researchers are working now to improve the potency of resveratrol in order to develop a pill that contains the optimum amount of the substance. In the meantime, there’s plenty of evidence that a little red wine can offset a host of health problems. A new animal study from Johns Hopkins University suggested that red wine can diminish brain damage caused by stroke by as much as 40 percent. And research released last year showed that grape-seed procyanidins, found in red wine, helps reduce arterial clogging, resulting in lower blood-cholesterol levels and a reduction in deaths from heart disease.

Try it! Until an optimally potent resveratrol pill is available, enjoy red wine, but it’s best to follow the latest alcohol guidelines from the American Medical Association and drink no more than one glass (5 ounces) a day for your health.

Do yoga

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More energy, better posture, greater flexibility, improved mood, and less stress are just some of the rewards of this mind-body workout. Yoga means ‘union’ in Sanskrit. Through conscious yoga breathing, you become aware of the connection between mind and body. That translates into major anti-aging advantages. Yogic breathing has been shown to oxygenate the cells, ridding them of toxins, helping prevent illness, and making skin radiant. Unlike other exercises, yoga poses are designed to work the inside of your body as well as the outside, which helps rejuvenate the digestive system, the reproductive system, even the immune system. Yoga is like wringing your body out like a washcloth. It’s one of the best ways to keep things moving.

Try it! Practice yoga or other mind-body activities at least twice a week to give yourself an energy boost, help build bone mass, and de-stress. I will resume teaching in February 2015. Start booking today!

Bite into a Superfruit

There’s a good reason we’re hearing so much about pomegranates these days. They are more beneficial than other fruits. Pomegranate juice has been found to lower cholesterol and blood pressure, possibly delay the onset of atherosclerosis, and potentially help reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease; researchers believe it may also help prevent some forms of cancer from starting or progressing. Pomegranates can also protect the skin from damage caused by UV rays, according to a study published last March.

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Another promising anti-ager is the goji berry, a fruit native to Tibet that boasts 500 times more vitamin C by weight than an orange and is considered to be the most abundant source of carotenoids, a type of antioxidant, on earth. This little nutritional powerhouse — which tastes like a denser, sweeter cranberry — also contains more iron than spinach, 18 amino acids, calcium, magnesium, zinc, selenium, and vitamins B1, B2, B6 and E, according to Dr. Perricone. The goji berry stimulates the release of human growth hormone, a natural substance in the body that improves our ability to sleep, helps us look younger, reduces fat, improves memory, boosts libido, and enhances the immune system.

Try it! Snack on a handful of dried goji berries throughout the day. Be sure to buy ones from Tibet, because they have high serum levels. In addition, drink pomegranate juice. Not a fan of the flavor? Buy it in concentrate and add a tablespoonful daily to kefir (or plain yogurt). For dewy skin, try Rodial’s Wrinkle Smoother, a pomegranate-infused anti-aging serum with marine extracts and vitamin C created to plump wrinkles, block sun and give a youthful glow.

Sip green tea

The health buzz about this brew keeps getting stronger: Last year, green tea was found to reduce the risk of breast cancer and prevent remissions, and now it’s being tested as a way to help prevent bladder, colorectal, and lung cancer recurrence. “Green tea is an amazing compound in terms of blocking the signaling network that is linked with the progression of cancer,” says Amy Yee, PhD, a professor of biochemistry at Tufts University and principal investigator of the cancer study. It’s also an effective weight-management agent because it appears to rev up metabolism. Preliminary research indicates that green tea may even help prevent Alzheimer’s disease. A Japanese study published last year in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition found that drinking at least one cup a day can help keep your brain sharp as you get older.

Try it! Sip two or three cups daily for the ultimate health benefits.

Slather your skin with supplements

Retinol, a type of vitamin A (and a nonprescription, weaker-strength relative of Retin-A), is considered the most effective over-the-counter treatment to smooth the skin and prevent wrinkles. Retinols cause the skin to gently peel, revealing a silkier, rosier, and more supple layer. Dr. Perricone touts the benefits of alpha lipoic acid, a potent antioxidant that naturally occurs in the body. “Alpha lipoic acid is a wonderful anti-aging mechanism,” he says. It has been shown to reduce fine lines, improve skin texture, tighten pores, and give skin a general radiance.

Another powerful age-defying ingredient is madecassol, or madecassoside, an Asian plant extract that helps plump the skin, minimize fine lines, and restore a youthful glow. Madecassol has been used in France for decades to help heal scars and wounds. European studies have also found that it helps diminish wrinkles, restores firmness to skin, and hydrates skin cells.

Try it! Look for skin creams containing retinols or try products containing alpha lipoic acid.

Another good way to ensure cell turnover, protect your skin against free radicals, and stimulate collagen growth is to apply vitamin C serum under your moisturizer and makeup. Finally, be sure to use a broad-spectrum sunblock every day to protect against UVA and UVB rays, which cause aging and skin cancer.

Do mental aerobics

Brain exercises can prevent cognitive decline, and the benefits can last for as many as five years. A research has found that a two-week program of mental training can actually rewire the brain.

Try it! Strengthen your mind every day by doing crossword puzzles, Sudoku, or Brain Games, a handheld electronic game developed by Dr. Small that uses numbers, sequences, and word play to condition the left and right spheres of the brain.

No more excuses !!

Xx

The Day we met Maya.

Uncategorized | November 20, 2014 | By

Wednesday, November 5th 2014.

It was a beautiful Autumn sunny morning. Typic of Macau at this time of the year. Chilled mornings and warm afternoons. In fact, the nicest day of the week as temperatures dropped and grey skies and rain ruled during the whole week.

Alarm rang at 7 am like always…and there i was…nervous, excited, anxious but with a sense of calmness at the same time. Said good morning to Hubby and gave a kiss to my 23 months old Daughter Sienna.

I sat down in bed, an rub my bump…wondering if that was going to be the last time i would rub it and feel the baby moving or, if i had another week in front of me/us. (i had 2 dates for my c-section, Nov.5th and the 12th).

Filled my lungs with air and stood up…went over my maternity bags, to make sure i was not forgetting anything, in case i was giving birth that day.

Messages from friends and family kept coming as they all new there could be a possibility of the baby be born that day.

We left home at 8:15am…Sienna was happy and in good mood…she was having breakfast while watching Princess Sofia…her fav. I left happy and confident that she was going to be fine.

The day Sienna was born, pictures were taken from everywhere…starting at the carpark. I thought about it for this time as well, but something was telling me that we coming back home after the Dr’s appointment at 9am. In fact, both Hubby and I were pretty convinced that another week would be given to us. I keep saying and thinking that i have been through everything during this pregnancy, and agree and confirm that no pregnancy is the same…Been through everything until the due date..not knowing exactly when the baby was going to be born…Was a mixed feeling as contraction couldn’t come and labour couldn’t start either…In normal cases you sit and wait,,,i call it the waiting game, specially when you pass the due date!In my case, and for the 2nd time: no labour, no contractions, no water breaking, no back pain…nothing…

Ride to the hospital was easy and smooth…Music playing in the background, talk was nice and again, the weather was very pleasant…was a nice pleasant morning.

As we arrive at the Hospital carpark, we did what we were told to do…enroll ourselves at the Urgency Entrance…from there, i started to panic a little bit….a whole dejavú scenario, hospital smell, i admit i had to give a few deep breaths and tell myself to stay calm. That 3rd floor where pregnant women/non pregnant women kept coming, the floor where decisions are made, the floor where good news and bad news are shared!The floor where anxious parents and families are waiting for the news…the delivery ward floor, the waiting room floor, the floor i was told that my 1st baby was going to be born, the floor i was told i had had a miscarriage, the floor i was told that that this 2nd baby had to be born today, otherwise i am putting into risk her and my health. What an emotional elevator ride, what an emotional morning….everything happened soo fast!

I saw my Dr. at 9 am…actually, i went in the consultation room 1st to answer the same old same old questions….Hubby had to stay outside, he had no idea what was going on. After that, my heart rate and baby’s heart rate had to be monitored…for 40min….i remember being laid in bed reading my book…what comfort me was that, and my Penhaligon’s perfume in my pashmina. Nurse – not very friendly – kept coming and going…After 40min, i was told to wait at the waiting room with my husband, since they would call me soon….After 5 min, “Mariana” was said…we both stood up and we were ready to see the doctor….to our surprise, it was a different Dr, that knew nothing about my history…we asked to speak with our dr. (i could even hear the nurse mentioning to call the Dr. as he had no idea of my pregnancy history)…he was even asking why i was going for a c-section!After a few minutes, my Dr. (i will never forget her name) finally showed up…we were so happy to see her…in fact, i saw her once while being monitored…

She took us to a private room, where we stayed for 30min.In this 30min she explained that she thought it was better i had the c-section today because she could see that i had a contraction during those 40min. Was a small one, but it was a contraction. My heart jumped.Both Hubby and i made a lot of question, the pros and cons of making a c-section before the Baby is at least 39 – 40 weeks,..etc..i couldn’t think. Dr. explained very patiently and very detailed the situation. The pros and cons of waiting another week etc…

I told the Dr, that i rather wait until the 12th…and she told me “my heart just sank”…of course is the patient’s decision…the Dr. is there to tell us what is the best…and like the nurse told me later: “when in doubt, always follow what the Dr. advise”. At some point, hubby and her were looking at me both telling me with their looks – have it today to save yours and your babies’ life. I knew i was being stubborn and not thinking logically…i knew they were right….but was a lot to take in at once. With me was very simple….since i got pregnant 1year and 2 months after a C-section, and with my placenta laying low, i couldn’t risk starting labour and contractions as this could result in uterine rupture. Since there was already a contraction, why risk?why risk Mariana?

After 30min…i said “ok, let’s do it today”!Baby with no name yet was going to be born today!Smiles and words of encouragement were given. I was safe in her hands…nervous but i knew i was safe. Filled my lungs with air again, and couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that in a few hours i would be cuddling my little bundle of joy.

Paper work was filled, details were given…we asked when the surgery would happen…It was exactly 10.30…Dr. said, we will try to do before lunch time, we need to contact the whole team and see if the theater is available.

We went outside and start making calls to Family…Father and Sisters. I was nervous, with tears rolling in my eyes, i was anxious, i was happy but extremely hummmmm not disappointed…i was a little bit upset with giving birth at 38weeks +…All Drs. guarantee that the baby is full term and healthy. There was nothing to fear about. They explained that keeping the baby for longer would make the baby bigger and the lining thinner…so i kept thinking about our safety. Again, why risk a uterine rupture?!

At 11:05 i hug hubby, again with tears of joy and anxiety rolling…pictures were taken and there i entered in the delivery ward for them to prep me for a c-section. I knew the drill, i knew all the steps…i knew everything as if it was yesterday that i gave birth to Sienna…The image of a c-section and the whole prep kept crossing my mind since the first day i learned i was pregnant BUT it was more real, the moment i arrived at the hospital…i guess that was quite disturbing also…it was like a movie playing…i was telling myself “now they will do this, now they will do that”…the feeling of going in with a bump and leave with an empty one, the corridors, the nurses, the changing of beds, the lifts…all in my head.

What made me calm as soon as i arrive at the delivery ward?hearing a baby crying. I told to myself.,in a few hours i will hear mine crying and everything would be over…I dried my tears, deep breaths in and said “let’s do it”. gave myself in.

Wanted to see hubby one last time before, but i couldn’t as i was going to follow the internal corridors until the theater. Meanwhile, the Dr. saw me again, hold my hand, tried to calm me down and said everything was going to be fine…

11:10 it was the time they wrote in my i.v. bandaid….at 11.22 i entered the theater with familiar faces and nurses speaking portuguese. This time, i was speaking with the nurses, i shared a smile when i saw a familiar face, we spoke…I paid attention to the room, the green room, i saw the machines around..i really wanted to see how things were done…the team was calm, speaking normally, sharing laughs, talking about the next patient…it was a normal wednesday morning for them..i tried to keep myself calm too…but everything changed a little bit after…when i couldn’t understand why it took 6 tries to make the spinal anesthesia work..i was nervous, in pain, in a uncomfortable position, everybody telling me not to move/talk when i was not doing any of that!!!it was traumatic…

I won’t go into details of the c-section…i can just tell that this time was way more painful then the first. Not painful but more uncomfortable, more feelings, more sensitivity, more a lot of things then with the 1st one…Maybe i was more aware this time, my body been through it before…i don’t know…need to see why it was more challenging this time around. Next day i woke up so sore that i couldn’t move naturally…i could only move to the sides and with a lot of effort – wanted to breasted so bad!

The moments i will never forget during the c-section:

  • The nurse holding my hand, comforting me, telling everything was fine..
  • The Dr. telling me that i did the right choice in having the operation that day as my uterine lining was very thin
  • The moment the nurse told me my baby was going to be born
  • 12:02 – the time my baby was born and it was showed to me in the mids of smiles and congratulations. i had tears of joy – only joy and happiness rolling my eyes…
  • She was shown to me 2 times and in this 2 times i thought she looked just like me.
  • The moment the operation was finally over and i said my thanks your to everyone..i was o grateful for having such amazing team of Dr. and nurses with me until the end…also apologized for the screaming and unsettlement.

Once operation was done, i went to the observation room, where the nurse handed her phone to call hubby…he was soo surprised i called, i had no voice of energy to talk…i just told him we were fine and everything was over. I don’t think he had seen the Baby by that time..While Moms stay at the observation room, the Babies go to the Maternity ward on the 2nd floor.…i believe it was 12:45 and the nurse told me to tell him to go and have some lunch and comeback after 1h….aiii it was over…:) and i could see my daughter. Another extremely painful procedure was made there at the observation room, to make sure everything was sealed properly…that was pain…pure pain that i won’t forget.

During the 1h observation i spoke with the nurse..so nice, so grateful, words can’t describe….i rested, and rub my bump…that feeling of emptiness made me a bit sad but so relief and happy that we were both fine…operation went perfectly…so why be sad at that stage?I sent that thought away and filled my body with beautiful thoughts, positive energies and vibrations….maybe that’s why i left the hospital after 3 days?maybe that’s why my recovery is going so well and fast…maybe that’s why i managed to stand up, wash myself and breastfeed with no problems the 24h after…i don’t know, i can’t tell. The fact i had to come home to my Baby Sienna and Hubby also contributed and keep contributing for my fast recovery.

Maya, is her name. The decision was done while i was having cirgury..My Family was there, waiting for me, saying that Maya is beautiful, a Star, a Sparkle, a Princess, Perfect Perfect…i couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms and tell her how much i love her.

She was born with 47cm, and with 2.855kg…smaller than Sienna but a fighter just like her Sister. She is beautiful, perfect and healthy!

The moment i held Maya for the 1st tie in the middle of pain and joy, tears and happiness is that moment that i will treasure for life and the moment Sienna saw her Sister for the first time was priceless…such a loving and meaningful moment for all of us.

Giving Birth is definitely – in my opinion – the most beautiful and painful moment in a women’s life. You can’t control your hormones and feelings that are pretty mixed. You are in pain but it’s a pain for love. You feel joy and happiness but at the same time there is fear and pain, tears of excitement are mixed with tears of pain! Once you put your baby in the world you forget all about what you have been through, because the feeling of having your baby in the arms make it all soo worth it and for me, i know i would be through it all over again with no doubts!Such a a beautiful and magical Moment of our lives.

After 3 days, we were told we could go home. The new life as a parent of 2 under 3 was soon to begin!!

We are all in love with her. Now everybody is asking when is the boy arriving? Well, i promised the nurse that i would wait at least 18months-2 years to get pregnant again :)…Is Hubby onboard?not really but, i can always hope and wish for a 3rd one!

Xx

<3

 

From the Hedegaards with Love